


Jaune's Help

by freelancerPA



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, I'll try though, M/M, Vale - Freeform, beacon - Freeform, depressed Jaune, helper, hopefully a slow burn, mindreader!Cardin, not sure if I can do it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-05-23 13:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6117883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freelancerPA/pseuds/freelancerPA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaune has been depressed for mostly his whole life. Everyone he loves has left him. Then comes Cardin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thought's 'Poem'

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the angst. I didn't really want to write this so soon after the season three finale, but this was all my brain wanted to write. So, again, sorry,

“I’m okay.”

_ No I’m not. _

“I feel fine!”

_ I feel terrible. I feel alone. _

“I’m happy, just like always.”

_ I’m always depressed unless I’m distracted. _

“Nothing is wrong.”

_ Everything is against me. _

“I’m perfect, never better.”

_ I feel like dying. _

“Don’t worry about me.”

_ Please, worry. Show me that you care. _

“Forget about it.”

_ Don’t. Promise me you’ll never forget about this. _

“I’m fine.”

_ No I’m not. _

“Just go.”

_ No, you keep me alive. _

“Leave.”

_ No. _

“I don’t need help.”

_ Yes I do. _

“Go. Have fun.”

_ Please, Don’t leave! _

“I’ll see you later.”

_ No! _

“Now go on.”

_ NO! _

“I’ll be fine on my own.”

_ Help me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a look at a conversation Jaune has with someone. The parts in quotations are Jaune's words and the parts in italics are Jaune's thoughts. The things the other person says will be revealed later in the story.


	2. Life’s Paraphrase

It always started the same. People would get caught up in his positive attitude and immediately take a liking to him because of it. Because of the lie. The second his wall would chip, and his smile falters, they would get worried. Then he was always able to reassure them. They would feel that everything is okay and he would be extra careful to keep smiling. Then it would become too much for the person. He wasn’t sure if it was the constant positivity or what, but they would always leave. Then his wall would crumble.

That was always his life. His dad left, his mom ignored him, his sisters stopped playing with him, friends left him, and everyone else didn’t know he existed. That was just how his life had always been. Honestly, a part of him was even used to it. While it still saddened him that it happened, it never shocked him anymore. And that was probably the saddest thing for him. Not being able to trust people enough to let them in. Having to create a brick wall between him and everyone else.

So when the one kid in his new school had started bullying him, it had hurt, but he was still able to block it out. His teammates were nice though, and one of them even wanted to defend him. That made him happy. Though, he knew it wouldn’t last. Soon they would find a way to abandon him. They always did. Even the nice redhead who wanted to help him with his fighting probably only did it so they wouldn’t fail classes. The other redhead and her sister probably just felt pity for him. They would leave first. Then the rest would slowly follow.

His favorite person was, surprisingly, the bully. At least he didn’t pretend to care about him. Most of the time. Sometimes Jaune felt like the bully could see into his mind. But, if he did, he never said anything or showed a sign.

Sometimes when Jaune was alone with the bully, the guy would just stare at him. It was with this knowing gaze that sent chills down Jaune’s spine. On instinct, Jaune would hole up into himself and hide behind his trusty brick wall. Then he could feel the guy’s gaze remove itself from him. Like he knew his stare made Jaune feel weird.

The bully would also sometimes look at him with these kind eyes when they were alone. They would comfort Jaune. Especially when he did it on days that Jaune felt the worse. But, the second someone would come in or Jaune would go to mention it, the bully would stop. Then his eyes changed back to a look of quiet malice. Though, Jaune could always sense the kindness there even when the anger returned.

Normally the bully would just look at Jaune when he felt bad. But, sometimes it would be physical. It was only on days when Jaune felt like he needed someone, though. And he never even had to say anything. The guy just knew what Jaune needed. And that was also nice. Even if it wouldn’t last long.


	3. Day's Comfort

     Today was one such day. Jaune didn’t know why, but it seemed like life just decided to kick his ass all day. And everything was starting to pile on. First, he failed his history test. The one that could bring his grade up from a ‘D’ to a ‘C’. Despite studying for it all week  _ and  _ all night, which resulted in him only getting two hours of sleep, which wasn’t even that much of a change from his normally restless sleep. They had pancakes for lunch, so Nora stole those and he didn’t get to eat. He got beat up in sparring. He was sore all over. Depressing thoughts were nagging him from the back of his mind. And now the bully had called him to his room. When Jaune asked him what he wanted, he didn’t say. So, Jaune had no clue what he would be getting into.

     He was surprised when it was only the bully in the room. Though, after six months, he felt that he shouldn’t be too surprised. This happened almost everytime Jaune had a terrible day. The bully stood up and walked over to him. He closed the door behind Jaune before placing his arm around Jaune’s shoulders and leading him to the bed. There they sat down together and the bully pulled Jaune closer to him. Jaune put his head on the bully’s shoulder and slowly let himself crumble. His body started to shake with his sobs as tears rolled down his cheeks and onto the other boy’s uniform. The other boy just simple wrapped his arms around Jaune and held him close.

     As Jaune began to calm down some, the boy moved one of his hands to stroke his hair. Jaune sighed heavily into his shoulder, feeling better now and looked up into his eyes. They were large and caring, looking down on him as if asking if he was better. Jaune nodded, answer the unspoken question. The boy smiled at him, a genuine smile, not the smirks he gives when others are around. Jaune places his head back down at the boy’s shoulder, feeling semi safe there. They stay like that for a time, before the boy speaks the question he had been mulling over silently.

     “Do you want to talk about it?”

     Jaune looks up at him. He didn’t normally ask what was wrong, he normally just let him cry it out. Then they would go about their day. Though, sometimes it did look like he wanted to ask. But he didn’t usually. Which was always nice, as he didn’t normally feel like answering. Jaune wasn’t sure what it was, but today he almost felt compelled to tell him.

    “Sure.”

     The boy then waited as Jaune drew in a breath or two before continuing, “Um, I failed my history test that could have bumped me up to a ‘C’, I only got two hours sleep because of that test, Nora stole my lunch, I suck at sparring, and my body hurts all over.” After saying all that, having hardly taken a breath in between words, Jaune took another breath and looked up at the boy.

    He was looking at Jaune thoughtfully, before slowly pushing Jaune from him and getting up. He wordlessly walked over to a dresser and pulled something out of the top drawer. When he turned back to Jaune, he could see it was a bag of chips and a soda. The boy gave them to Jaune and Jaune thanked him before ripping the bag open. Jaune happily ate the food offered him as the boy sat back down next to him. Unconsciously, Jaune went to lean into the boy as he ate. The boy didn’t move when Jaune leaned into him, he just wrapped his one arm around him.

    When Jaune was finished he left the room, and the day was slightly brighter than when it started.

 


	4. Cardin's Life

When boys went through puberty, they started to grow more hair and their voices would deepen. That was normally about it. Cardin, though? He also developed the power to read minds.

He still remembers the morning it happened. His dad was reading the paper, and Cardin could hear him complaining about the new Grimm attack mentioned in the paper. It wasn’t that unusual. Except for the fact that his dad wasn’t saying anything. Cardin could hear it in his  _ head _ ! After an internal freak out, his mom came over and sat him down at the table. His mom and dad then proceeded to tell him that mind reading ran in the family on his mom’s side.

Slowly, he got used to reading minds. His mom even taught him how to block out others thoughts so it wouldn’t become too cumbersome. She also made him promise to never use his power during a test. He promised her reluctantly, but always kept it despite the temptation not to. It made his mother proud, knowing that he kept his promise and he was happy about that. Though, he could never stop himself from taking peeks into the minds of others. Sometimes their thoughts were happy, sometimes sad, and sometimes mad. Though, Cardin learned as he got older, most thoughts turned perverted and even slightly disturbing with age. While the thoughts of the growing generation did make him want to stay away from people, it never did stop him from looking every once in awhile. It saddened him that it seemed like sometimes the most innocent face usually had the darkest or most perverse thoughts. And that made him want to give up on people altogether. Which often made him seem heartless.

The thoughts of the youth from his generation would anger him, and often he would lash out at them. It made him a bully. And while he didn’t always like the title that the world had christened him, he didn’t always feel like objecting. It made people distance themselves from him, which in turn distanced the thoughts he disliked so much.

Once at Beacon, he was put in charge of people who shared his thoughts on the world, though for different reasons. Russel had been closed up by his parents, Dove was abused by those around him, and Lark was used by people to get what they wanted. All of it had turned his ragtag team into the people they were. People who disliked others, and prayed on the weaker. Though they mostly did this to strengthen those who seemed like they needed it. At first Cardin objected to this cruelty, since he knew it did no help. But then he put his own spin on it. With the help of his new-found friends, he tried to strengthen those who needed the help in a different way. While appearing as a bully to those who just stood and watched on as others got mistreated, he brought those he ‘bullied’ into his confidence. They knew why he did it, and the things that his team did never hurt them. They were always gentle when they dealt with the weaker students, while being harsh to those who mistreated others from the shadows. Whenever the students they ‘bullied’ needed to talk, one of the members of the team would be there. They would sit and listen to them. No one knew about this but Cardin, his team, and their ‘victims’, but none of them minded. It made it easier to accomplish their task.

But there was always one kid that Cardin never seemed to be able to get alone. Since the first day he saw him, he felt that he would need a friend. A short look into his mind confirmed that. But, with the rap of bully, he could never get close to him. Until the night on the roof. The kid had exploded at his friend, revealing that he had snuck his way into Beacon. Cardin jumped at the chance to use the information. Once the girl had left, he climbed to the roof and told the boy he knew everything. He said that he would tell Ozpin that he had cheated his way into Beacon unless he did what he said, even though he knew that Ozpin already knew. He had looked into Ozpin’s mind the first chance he got, and he had to say, the man probably knew everything. Not one thing seemed to escape his attention, and that included the boy’s fake transcripts. Of course, the boy didn’t know that, so he immediately agreed. And from that day on, Cardin had secretly tried to help him. With unconventional methods, he must admit, but help him nonetheless. Though, he wasn’t always sure how much good he was doing.

He did always force him to do his school work. And in sparring, Cardin rarely went easy on him to, hopefully, quicken the boy’s reflexes and strengthen his muscles when he had to go against the heavy blows of Cardin’s weapon. Or, at least, that’s how it was at first. Cardin quickly realised that what the boy really needed was probably the help of a friend, and not the strength he was trying to provide him. So he slowly tried to become a friend. Though, he still tried his best to make him do his work and pay attention in class.


	5. Jaune's Partner

Jaune snuck back into the room after being at the other boy’s, hoping not to get questioned at the late hour. Again. But, he had no such luck as the second he closed the door Pyrrha was right behind him.  
“Where were you?” She asked him in her almost monotone voice, hands on her hips.  
“I was with Cardin.” Jaune said as he stared at the ground like he was trying to find a secret meaning behind the designs in the carpet.  
“What were you doing this late at night?”  
“Why does it matter?” Jaune sulked to his bed, still hanging his head to avoid Pyrrha’s gaze.  
Pyrrha sighed and walked over to Jaune’s bed where he had sat down. She sat next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder, “Jaune, I’m sorry but I don’t think you should go over there anymore. He’s a bad influence on you.”  
Jaune jerked away from her touch and turned his gaze toward her, glaring. “You can’t tell me who not to hang out with. You’re not my mom.”  
“I may not be, but you’ve been neglecting your sparring lessons lately. I fear it is because of him.”  
“You want me to stop hanging with Cardin because of sparring?” Jaune stands up angrily and starts to walk away from his bed before turning back, “Is that all you care about? That I learn to spar well and that I do all my lessons?!” His face turns slightly red with the anger of what he feared was peeking out of Pyrrha.  
“I’m sorry, Jaune. But you do need these. It’s for your own good that you learn sparring and do well in class.” Pyrrha looks down at her hands before looking back at Jaune.  
“For mine or yours? All you care about is doing well in school! You don’t care about me! You care about grades!” Jaune points an accusing finger at her before stepping away and flinging the door open. Pyrrha just sat there and watched the door slam shut after Jaune, doing nothing as he ran down the hallway to one of the few safe places he knew. Cardin’s team room.

~~*~~

He panted from the exertion as he stood outside the door of Cardin’s room. He laid a fist at the door to knock, giving it three swift taps. Knock. Knock. Knock. A second later, the door opened and he saw the face of Russel through the door crack.   
“Yes…?” Russel looked at him with a bit of confusion playing vividly on his face.  
“Is Cardin in there?” Jaune asked him, now barely panting.  
“He is.”  
“Can I see him?” Russel looks back into the room, and Jaune hears him ask who he assumes is Cardin if that is alright. He doesn’t hear an answer, but he guesses that it was a ‘yes’ because Russel completely opens the door. When it is fully open, he can see Cardin sitting on his bed and he gives him a sheepish smile. “Would it be alright if I slept here tonight?”  
Cardin looks at him with an expression of disbelief for a second, but quickly nods as if he understands. Jaune doesn’t really question how Cardin could possibly understand why he had come here to sleep, but at this point he doesn’t care. He just simply walks in past Russel and plops down on the floor. He was still annoyed, and even sad, about his encounter with Pyrrha. The exchange made him want to hole up somewhere and cry. Yet, after the day he had and the tears he shed previously, he didn’t think he could cry anymore. All he felt that he could do is sleep. So, right there, in the middle of team CDRL’s dorm room, he curled up and went straight into a deep sleep.   
It was so deep he didn’t even feel himself being moved.


	6. Cardin's Plan

That afternoon Jaune woke from what was probably one of the best sleeps he’s had in a few months. The sun’s light was streaming in from between the curtains, bothering his still sleepy eyes. He snuggled deeper into the comforter of the bed in an attempt to hide from it and he even started to fade somewhat from this world, and back into his dreams. Until he realized that the bed he was in had a different comforter than his own. Instead of the blue comforter covered in happy suns that he knew and loved, it was a plain brown one. But, it was soft, not to mention also warm. And he was still soo groggy. His eyes drifted closed and he had drifting thoughts about who might have changed the comforter on his bed, and when they even had time to do so, and- He sat up stock straight in the bed. It wasn’t his. He was in team CDRL’s dorm room, and someone must have moved him to a bed after he passed out last night. Slowly, he also realized that it was Cardin’s bed that he was moved to.  
“Oh. I guess I stole Cardin’s bed for the night… or... “ Jaune quickly stopped his train of thought before he could get too much into the image of him accidently curling up with Cardin during the night. Instead, he got up, noticing that he hadn’t changed from his uniform to his onsie before he had passed out, and checked the time. It was about eleven o'clock, which meant he missed his first two classes. He knew Pyrrha would be upset at him for missing them, but he really couldn’t bring himself to care that much. So, he just exited the room and walked to his own to get some new clothes on before attending the rest of his classes, running his one hand through his hair to fix it as he walked.

~~*~~

When he entered his next class, he was meet with a disapproving look from the teacher, Mr. Port, and a “Please sit down now, Mr. Arc.” Pyrrha also gave him a look as he sat down in his seat a row in front of her.  
“Jaune, where have you been?” she leaned forward in her seat to whisper the question to him.  
“Sleeping.” he whispered back, instead of just ignoring her which was his initial plan.  
“Where?” she asks, trying to get more from him.  
“In a bed.” he deadpans.  
“Look, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”  
“Pyrrha?” Jaune ignores her apology, he figures it’s probably an empty one anyhow, “I’m trying to actually learn something here.”  
Pyrrha frowns down at him, knowing that anything she had said and will say is lost on him. Instead, she just sits back and continues to pay attention to the lesson.

~Cardin’s POV~

It was during the night, as Cardin laid on the floor listening to the quiet snoring in his room, that he felt he finally figured something out. He was thinking about all the thoughts that he would obtain from Jaune, and it came to him. Jaune needed a friend. A true friend. One that wouldn’t leave him. He realized that a friend was the one thing that life seemed to keep out of Jaune’s reach, for one reason or another. But he wanted to change that. Needed to change that. Before Jaune became bitter. Or worse.  
He had already seen that Jaune had some dark thoughts. Most were rooted in everyone always leaving. From what he had seen, Jaune even had nightmares of a dark world where he would be the only person around. Some of the stuff Cardin saw in Jaune’s mind even made him want to shudder, but he always held it back.  
It saddened Cardin to know what was going on in Jaune’s mind. He was a good kid, bright, kind, and he even had some qualities that would make him a good leader someday. But he was really starting to despise this world. It seemed that wherever Jaune looked, dark clouds and gloomy skies resided. Cardin wasn’t even sure how Jaune made it this far. With how somber his thoughts were, he should have at least been more of an introvert. But, it seemed that there was something in Jaune, whether it was hope for a brighter future or simply the innate sense of life all humans contained, Cardin didn’t know, but it kept him around people. It kept him alive. And now, Cardin wanted to do the same. He knew that if it went on much longer, Jaune would crumble. One could only last so long under the conditions of a harsh, wilderness type of mind. So, Cardin would become as much a friend as he was able.


	7. Lunch's Hope

    Having not eaten breakfast that morning, Jaune felt very relieved when lunch finally came. Even more so when it wasn’t pancakes, because it meant that he could actually get some food. He entered the lunch line, and exited with a plate full of mac and cheese. Then he went to find a place to sit. After last night, he didn’t really feel like sitting with his team. At the same time, though, he didn’t feel like he had a choice. He didn’t exactly know anyone besides his teammates and the kids from team RWBY, but they always ate together. The only other people he knew were some teachers, and they didn’t eat with the students, and the kids from team CRDL. He didn’t feel like team CRDL would like him to eat with them, although… maybe he was wrong. From across the room, Cardin was waving him over to sit down.  
    Jaune slowly walked over to the table they were seated at. He walked past the table where his teammates and team RWBY were at, ignoring the questioning stares, and headed right for Cardin. The table was the one in the back left corner of the room, half hidden by kids at other tables. The lights above the table seemed dimmer than the ones in the middle of the room, but Jaune assumed it was just the shadows.  
    When he got to the table, Cardin pulled out the seat on his right so Jaune could sit. Barely hesitating, Jaune placed his plate of food on the dark wood of the table top and sat down next to him. It was quieter at this table. Presumably from the lack of the always talkative and energetic Nora. CRDL whispered jokes and had a silent conversation as they ate. Jaune was less than surprised when he heard Nora and Yang’s voices in the dull hum of sound coming from behind him.  
    Despite being hungry, Jaune played with his food. Cardin glanced over at him with a small frown playing at his lips as Jaune pushed a noodle around his plate with his fork. His eyes met with his teammates’ own, unspoken worry on all their faces.  
    “You okay there?” Sky inquired of the blonde first.  
    “Hm?” Jaune looked up, only then noticing all the eyes attached to him. “Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Why?” He directs his gaze back to his cooling food, glancing up occasionally at them.  
    “You seem- out of it.” Russel shrugs.  
    “No. Just, the food was really hot. I was letting it cool.” Jaune quickly stabbed some of the macaroni with his fork, shoving it into his mouth to show that he was perfectly okay. “See? It's cooler now.” Cardin can hear Jaune's voice drop slightly on the last word, and his frown pulls at his face slightly more. When Jaune notices his expression he quickly looks back at his plate, trying to escape the concern on the bully’s features.  
    Dove must have noticed Cardin's look, because he speaks up, “You can talk to us anytime you need to, you know.”  
    “Y-yeah. Sure.” Jaune stuffs more macaroni into his mouth, feeling a small flutter in the pit of his gut. It's a familiar flutter, one he's felt before. Hope. Though he knows it won't last long. It never does. Still, he decides to just let himself enjoy it for the time being. May as well since it'll be stripped away from him at any given time.  
    As he eats, Jaune can sense Cardin glancing at him occasionally and he can feel the doubt that should be showing from right behind Cardin's indigo eyes. It makes him feel some discomfort. The way he knows Cardin can probably see the doubt swirling through his own mind. Although, that was impossible. But it truly felt like that at the moment. It made Jaune's skin itch. He wanted to just leave, leave it all, but part of him was keeping him here. He wasn't sure why. It was probably because this was the only place he ever truly felt like someone cared. Not because of his optimism, skills, or anything else he had. But because they honestly cared about him, the person. And it was nice. He could feel himself smile despite himself and he looked up at the people sitting with him. From the corner of his eye, he could see Cardin's mouth pull a small grin.

~~*~~

    Lunch is over much too quickly, forcing Jaune and team CRDL to part ways for their next classes. Jaune is on his way to Miss Plum’s class when Pyrrha corners him in the hallway.  
    “Jaune, are you okay?” she has her hands on his shoulders and searches his face, an expression of something akin to concern playing on her face.   
    “Yeah. I'm fine, why?” Jaune can feel his gut drop. The hope he had felt earlier was slowly ebbing out of him, he could practically feel it seeping out through his fingertips.  
    “Nothing. It's just…” Pyrrha lets her hands fall to her sides and glances away from him for a second like she was thinking, “What happened at lunch?”  
    “What do you mean? Nothing happened.” Jaune gazed at her questioningly.  
    “You walked by the table without saying anything. You didn't even sit with us.” Pyrrha directs her eyes back to Jaune, eyebrows scrunched together and mouth set in a tight line.  
    “I wanted to sit with my friends?” Jaune's eyebrow arches towards his hairline in confusion.  
    Pyrrha looks at him with an almost incredulous expression,  “When did they become your friends?”  
    “I don't know. Why are you questioning my choice of friends?”  
    “I never questioned your choice. I was just asking when you made the choice.” Pyrrha expanded on her earlier question.  
    “Not from the way you looked at me.” Jaune crossed his arms, expression hard and defiant.  
    “It's just that I don't think they're a very good choice for companions.” Pyrrha sighed, a frown tugging on her lips.  
    “They're a fine choice for ‘companions’.” Jaune uses finger quotes to accentuate the word ‘companions’ and Pyrrha's frown just deepens, “Pyrrha, I'm a big boy. I'm old enough to make my own friends.”  
    “I know you are.” Pyrrha sighs and looks at the floor before her eyes return to Jaune's, “Just choose wisely, okay?” She almost whispers the request before walking silently away to their class.  
    Once Pyrrha was out of sight, Jaune let his arms fall to his sides. “The nerve. Telling me who I should and shouldn't have for friends.” He angrily huffs, “Who does she think she is?” before following her path to the class.


	8. Plum's Class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! The story's not dead!

Once at Miss Plum’s class, Jaune could feel the day slip away from him. He doesn’t know why, but Pyrrha’s words stick with him like a leech. They just won’t let go, and it certainly is not helping him stay focused. In the back of his mind, he can hear Miss Plum talking about dust combinations.  
He starts when the sudden silence in the room breaks him from his thoughts. He sweeps through the room with his eyes, everyone was staring at him. But why? Did he have something in his face? Quickly, he swept his sleeve across his mouth and cheeks. That's when she cleared her throat.  
“Mr. Arc, welcome back. Now would you tell me how you mix dusts?” the teacher gave him a hard look, she knew he hadn't been paying attention and wanted to punish him for it.  
Jaune gaped for a moment, wracking his brain. He had to know this. This is what Weiss and him had gone over not a day before. “... By explosion?” He said quietly, not wanting to be heard despite feeling that he got it right. In the next moment he knew he hadn't. Most of the class erupted in snickers. His answer was wrong. Oh, so wrong.  
“No. That would, in fact, destroy the dust you are working with. Would anyone else like to answer?” A hand in the back of the classroom automatically pops up. Jaune recognizes it as Weiss’. “Miss Schnee?”  
“A significant force of pressure.” she looks so smug, and in that moment I remember the answer. Weiss had gotten it correct. Which came as no surprise. Her father was the owner of the biggest dust company in Remnant.  
Sighing out a breath, Jaune placed his head on the desk before folding his arms overtop to cover himself up. Everyone had mocked him. Just for a wrong answer. Of course, he really couldn't expect any less. Why wouldn't it be like this? He was just a reject that no one really cared for. He was sure that if anyone else made the same mistake, people would have acted differently. They wouldn't be laughed at. Not like him.  
Ever since he was young, it was like the world was out to get him. No matter what he did. No matter who or what he avoided. But, he just had to stay happy and positive. That was what was important. Staying happy. Even if he felt like he was crumbling on the inside. That way he might be able to make himself forget for a time.  
~*~  
The rest of the class went without another incident, thankfully. Miss Plum seemed to just ignore him after his mistake, along with the rest of the kids. It was probably time to get some more help on his studies for her class, though. With a mistake like that in class, he could just see what his tests would look like. He definitely needed the help. Maybe Weiss could add some time to the study sessions.  
He found her easily enough in the hallway. Getting her attention was another thing altogether, though. After a minute of following her and saying her name, she finally spun around.  
“What?” she asked him, something akin to a glare in her icy eyes.  
“Do you think we can spend some more time studying?” Jaune glanced at his shoes, buying his bottom lip slightly.  
“Maybe. You do seem to need it.” she sighed, “But not today. Maybe tomorrow.”  
“Thank you.” He smiled at her. A smile he wasn't sure was empty or not. She returned it with her own half smile and a short nod. Then she was on her way.  
Jaune spent a while continuing to roam the halls after that. Miss Plum’s class was his last for that day, so he didn't really have anywhere to go. Eventually he wander into the classes he skipped and grabbed what he had missed for the day. He explained to each teacher that he overslept. His teachers had different reactions to that excuse. Some gave him a sad look, like they knew why he had trouble sleeping. He knew they didn't. Some questioned it. ‘Yes, I really overslept. Yes, I know half a day is a long amount of time for just oversleeping. No, it won't happen again.’ Still others just gave him looks that really told him they didn't care. Part of him felt like telling them he didn't really care either, but he held his tongue. He knew that wouldn't go over very well.


	9. Library's Sorrow

 

    The day goes quickly after that, thank dust. Soon all classes are over and Jaune heads to the library, hoping to get some studying done in a quiet environment.

    He enters the library and immediately it’s different. The walls and shelves full of books suddenly feel cold and foreign. Not like he’s been here numerous times with friends. It’s enough to make him want to leave. But he doesn’t. He just goes to a corner and sits, pulling a book about dust from a shelf as he passes. For a moment he just looks around. Normally so vibrant and cozy, the library is now dull and colorless. A dreary hazy seems to permeate the air all around him. He curls into a ball in his spot on the floor. Usually sitting in corners makes him feel safe, almost like he’s not completely alone. But this time it just sends icy fingers through his clothes, chilling him to the bone.

    That’s where he’s found, crying into his arms.

~~~~

 

    It had been his custom for a few months now to head to the library after his last class. That’s where he was now. He was sitting quietly at a back table, reading ‘The Third Crusade’ when he felt it. An overwhelming feeling of being frozen. He knew what it was almost immediately.

    Following the feeling, he came to one of the very back corners of the place. The lights here seemed dim compared to the rest of the library. While it was bright closer to the middle and entrance of the room, back here the light was subdued. It created an air of despair and desperation.

    Tucked deep in the corner was one Jaune Arc. He had his legs curled up tight against him, his arms holding them against his chest. His head was resting against them while his shoulders shook with silent sobs.

    Cardin sighed and tapped on his shoulder. When Jaune looked up, he tried his best to smile. The other boy had tear tracks burning lines down his cheeks, red eyes and nose, and snot crusting his upper lip. It was terrible. Cardin sat next to him without a word and just stayed there. He didn’t move toward or away from the other boy, waiting instead for Jaune to do whatever he may.

 

~~~~

 

    Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Jaune looked up. Cardin was there, looking down and smiling at him. The smile looked a little forced and Jaune quickly swiped his sleeve against his nose. His tired eyes stared confusedly at the older boy. Why was he here, staring down at him? His confusion only rose when he sat down next to him.

    Jaune stared forward for a minute. Cardin just sat there, but it wasn’t awkward. It was like he was waiting. He assumed Cardin wanted him to make the first move. That was fine with him, he would just wait till Cardin left. As long as he stayed like he was, Cardin was bound to grow bored and leave.

    It wasn’t long before Jaune felt his body close the distance, leaning on Cardin’s shoulder. That’s when Cardin finally did something and placed his arm around his shoulder. A silent sob racked through his body before another one hiccuped out. The tears came with a violent vengeance after that. Cardin was silent the whole time, just holding Jaune and letting him cry. After a while it ebbed and stopped. Jaune just breathed shuddering breaths for a moment before Cardin spoke.

    “So what happened?” Cardin pulled away slightly so he could look at Jaune.

    “I’m not entirely sure.” Jaune sniffed, blinking his eyes so he could see Cardin clearly.

    Cardin hummed, staring absently into the distance. “I heard about what happened in Miss Plum’s class.”

    Jaune stiffened in Cardin’s hold at the mention of his ‘first’ class that day. “People talked about it?”

    “Not really.” Cardin lightly squeezed his forearm, trying to get him to stay calm. “Dove told me.”

    “Oh.” Jaune relaxed. Dove was in that class with him, and it made some sense that he would tell Cardin about that. He guessed.

    “You know your answer wasn’t bad. I’m sure half the class was thinking the same thing.” Jaune frowns, doubting his words but Cardin just smiles back at him. This time, Jaune can tell it wasn’t forced.

    “Most of the class laughed.” Jaune barked out a dark chuckle.

    “So what? Half of the kids in that class are idiots anyhow.” Jaune’s frown deepened and Cardin sighed. “Look, you’ll get it. You just have to be patient and keep studying. Keep learning.”

    “You sound like Pyrrha.” Jaune says quietly, slightly pouting.

    “She’s right.”

    “I know.” Jaune sighs.

    “Then come on.” Cardin stands and turns toward Jaune, holding his hand out. Without hesitating, Jaune places his hand in Cardin’s so the other boy can pull him up. “Let’s go learn some more about dust.”


	10. Anxiety's Attack

It had been a week since the whole dust incident. No one seemed to remember it anymore, thank dust. But now Jaune was sitting alone in the dorm while the rest of his team was out exploring the city. He was trying to finish a project that was half his grade. Because apparently Mr. Port thought it was important to be able to write a story about the Great War from the perspective of the opposite race. Not like it was very hard for him, in a way. The faunus was hated, he was hated. It should’ve been easy. But he was never a writer.  
He was half done, it was midnight, and the paper was due in the morning. Jaune was rushing to try and finish it. His heart was racing, palms beginning to get sweaty. He can feel himself begin to hyperventilate as his mind goes through all the stuff he still has to do. The paper is so long. There was still so much. He wouldn’t finish it. Couldn’t finish it. Tears prick at his eyes as his chest starts to burn.  
“I can’t do this.” Jaune stares down at the blank piece of paper through tear-blurred eyes. “I can’t do this.” He can feel the attack bubbling up in his chest, but he can’t push it down this time. It’s too much. Too powerful. He gasps in a painful half breath. Blows it out through his nose. The tears start streaming down his cheeks. Instinctively, he curls into himself. It’s getting harder to breath. His throat feels like it’s closing up. Air is barely making its way into his lungs. There’s too much panic. He can’t breath.  
He gasps for even the smallest amount of air. It’s painful but some does make it inside. Stumbling to the door, he exits the room to slowly make his way to the one safe place he knows. Cardin’s dorm room.  
Somehow he makes it there. He doesn’t know how, but he does. His fist barely makes a sound when he knocks on the door and the word “Help.” comes out as a whisper. Still, somehow someone must have heard him. The door swings open and he basically collapses in the arms of whoever opened it. He gasps for air as the person wraps their arms around him, dragging him into the room and placing him on a bed. The bed dips when the person sits next to him. They take his hands in their own and Jaune looks up to see Cardin staring at him. He doesn’t have anytime to question it before Cardin is counting softly.  
“One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.” It doesn’t take long for Jaune to realize he’s supposed to be breathing with the counts.  
“One, two,” Jaune breaths in softly, “three, four.” Then breaths out through his nose. “One, two,” In. “Three, four.” Out. It goes like this until he can breath evenly again, without pain. Cardin squeezes his hands for a second before dropping them. “Can you tell me what caused the attack?”  
“The project.” Jaune gasps, his mind going back to the still unfinished paper. The panic rises again, but sizzles out when Cardin retakes his hand. He breathes lightly, calming himself. “It’s so long. I’m not sure if I can finish it. And if I don’t get a good grade- the team. They’ll-”  
“Jaune.” Cardin interrupts him, “Your team’s grades don’t rely solely on you. It’ll be fine if you get a bad grade.”  
“Then why does it feel like they’re all counting on me?”  
“Because you’re the leader.” Cardin turns away from him, staring at the wall. “In some ways they do, but the only one they can blame for grades is themself. Team grades only count for fighting. Not for other classes.”  
“They… don’t?” Jaune looks at him in question.  
“They don’t.”  
Jaune breathes a sigh of relief. A smile takes over his face and he turns to hug Cardin. He can feel Cardin stiffen under him. The realization of what he just did washes over him, and he quickly releases him. Automatically his mind goes to why Cardin stiffened like that. ‘It was from disgust.’ his brain, always helpful, supplies.  
~~~~  
Cardin stiffens in surprise when Jaune hugs him. It caught him off guard, but he recovers quickly. Not quickly enough though. Just as he was about to return the hug, Jaune pulls away. He turns away from him and Cardin can hear his thoughts loud and clear.  
‘It was from disgust.’ Cardin frowns deeply at Jaune’s thought. No it wasn’t. Without a word, Cardin drags Jaune back into a tight hug.  
“You’re welcome.” Cardin breaths, an answer to the unspoken thanks.  
~~~~  
Jaune’s brain short-circuits for a second with the return hug. It just wasn’t something he had expected, but he was grateful for it. The hug was warm. Comforting. But he had to pull away. He looked down at his lap right as the door slammed open, causing both boys to jump.  
“Cardin!” Velvet skid into the room. “It’s Carmin.”


	11. Jaune's Dilemma

       Cardin’s head snapped to Velvet, “What about her?”

       “Lilac has her.” Velvet pants, eyes awash in worry.

       “Take me to her.” he stands from the bed, Jaune following.

       Jaune stands frozen for a minute as Cardin and Velvet rush from the room before he runs after them. He has no clue what’s going on, but somewhere in the back of his mind he recognized the names. Coming to a turn in the hallway, he slowed to a halt. Peeking around the corner, he realized why the names sounded familiar. In front of him were two girls and Cardin. Carmin, a red haired cat faunus with green eyes and Lilac, a purple haired and purple eyed beauty with a temper that could only be described as the thorns to her flower.

       Lilac was one of the school bullies. Like all the others, she had seen a target on his back. She would pick on him and beat him up. Until Cardin decided he would be Jaune’s sole bully. Actually, now that Jaune thought about it, Cardin was the only person who bullied some others. Most of them were faunus, Carmin being one of them. ‘ _ I wonder why? _ ’

       He sat there, behind a corner watching Cardin talk to Lilac as Carmin ran his way. Lilac pushed Cardin closer to the wall, starting a fight quickly. Other than the sounds of the two school bullies fighting in the empty hallway, all was quiet. That's why the tiny 'hi' that broke Jaune from his thoughts made him jump halfway out of his skin.

       "Velvet?" he spoke quietly, a hand over his rapid beating heart. The girl nodded before joining him.

       "I'm glad for him," Velvet spoke again after a moment, and this time it didn't cause Jaune any heart attacks.

       "What?" he blinked and turned his head to stare at her in his confusion, "Why?"

       "For keeping her away, of course," she tells him and laughs.

       Jaune just stares at her in unbelief, mouth gaped and blinking. Why did she laugh? This is the man who had bullied her since the beginning of the semester. What did she mean by 'keeping her away'? What was going on...?

       "You do know about that, don't you?" Velvet tilted her head in confusion.

       "About what?'

       "Cardin," Velvet said his name like just that should have explained everything. It didn't.

       "Apparently not," Jaune said with a shrug.

       "He's not a bully," Velvet said, expanding with a look from Jaune, "Okay, not  _ really _ , yeah he can act like a real jerk, but the hitting and ear-pulling isn't real. That's just what he wants others to see so that no one else, no one like  _ Lilac _ will hurt us."

       "That- that's kinda messed up," Jaune turns back to where Cardin and Lilac were still fighting.

       "I guess. You tend to overlook that when you're spared from having to deal with the others," Velvet shrugged before turning to walk away. "I'm going before they spot me, I would suggest you do the same."

       Jaune only nodded, keeping his eyes on the fight going on around the corner. Cardin had his hands in Lilac's long purple locks. Lilac had her hands around his neck. He turned and left before he could see how it all played out.

       Back in his room, he sat on his bed in a state of silent shock. All his memories from the beginning of the school year till now went through his mind. Cardin first claiming him as his victim, blackmailing him by use of the faked school transcripts. The growth of a weird sort of relationship from then. He couldn't say that Cardin had ever been malicious. Most of his bullying consisted of stupid pranks and forcing Jaune to do his homework, as well as his own. Then there were the times when Cardin would let him just cry on his shoulder, prompting him to tell him what was wrong but never pushing it.

       Cardin was actually... nice to him in a way no one else ever was. Believing he was just a bully that had a kind streak was an easy thing for Jaune to manage. A no-risk relationship. He wasn't his friend, so he never had to act a certain way to make him stay. He was just... there.

       Someone who would never leave despite how bad Jaune got.

       Someone who would never leave because he was a bully and bullies don't just leave their victims alone.

       But, was he even truly a bully?

       Jaune curled up into a ball at the end of his bed. What did this all mean? Was Cardin truly a bully? If not, why was he blackmailing him? What was so bad about Lilac that Velvet, and presumably the other faunus, would rather being bullied by Cardin? But according to Velvet. Was any of it even really real?

       Was what had happened since he arrived actually real?

       What was even going on here?

 

~~~~

 

       Jaune woke up with a jolt. He was still in his school attire, so apparently he had fallen asleep sometime after he had walked back last night... Last night... He roughly ran his hands through his hair.  _ That couldn't be true. It must've been a dream. _ He nodded to himself, got up and walked to the bathroom.  _ Yeah, just a dream. _ It was almost enough to convince him as he ran cold water over his hands for a moment before splashing his face. _Wasn't it?_ The rough fabric of the towel rubbed against his face and he stared for a minute at the dark yellow fabric.

       It would've had to be a dream, because if not... He shook his head, he didn't want to think that. The thought still came.  _ The whole year would be a lie. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story's not dead!! I'm sorry it took so long to update, please don't hurt me. And thank you to all the people who have stayed with this story so far, despite it having not updated for a year.


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